Amended update: Old Razer has been dried out and apparently come back to life. Which on the one hand thank gods, but on the other goddamnit it I kind of wanted an excuse to buy a new keyboard...
(This thing is oo-oo-oold and kind of crusty gross, and I was going to replace it with a Steelseries to go with my new-ish mouse...)
... okay ordered a new Apex Pro anyway.
I'm pretty sure this Razer is almost old enough to vote (I bought it to play WoW back when we were still raiding in, like, Burning Crusade I think) and also disgustingly filthy, now that I'm actually look at it.
Will definitely be going in the dishwasher when the new boy arrives, mostly because I've always wanted to try that and at this stage it doesn't matter if it kills this old boy forever.