Last night, in :

DM: [describes a bar scene with a bard playing a hurdy-gurdy] It sounds like this:
DM: What do you do?

ME: I sing along.

DM: (IRL specialist in medieval music) Okay. What does that sound like?

ME: (who plays a giant rotting vulture aarakocra corpse possessed by a deep sea siphonophore colony)

So my Fathomless Warlock in has a familiar giant isopod and, well. Now that's it's an Immersion Prop I finally have an excuse to buy

Every time we have scheduled I spend the entire day with "DEE. AND. DEE! ON TONIGHT!" stuck in my head on loop to the tune of: :dnd:

Also potentially related to this is my newfound zeal for bullet journaling our sessions...

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In my continuing quest to make the most ridiculous character ever: the aarocokra Fathomless Warlock/Peace Cleric.

After getting shot down in combat, it drowned and was possessed by a part of an ancient deep sea collective intelligence, curious about the surface world. Now it shambles around, rotting and mutating and mute, spreading the loving embrace of the Gyre to all those who wish it.

In other news, our DM continues to not really know how to respond when my solution to every encounter is “I summon eight pixies and have them cast polymorph to turn our attackers into oysters.” In this particular encounter we were also fighting on our airship, so my next turn was “I pick up the oyster and throw it over the side of the ship.”

Tonight in : "I summon eight pixies and they each cast polymorph to turn our attackers in squid."

DM: "... I'm sorry you do *what*?" (reads rules) "I... have never seen anyone use that spell before."

After several months playing my Druid in it has come to my attention that there is virtually no encounter that cannot be solved (at least in some fashion) by saying, "I turn into an ant."

Traps? 🐜
Recon/spying? 🐜
Encounter? Good luck finding me, assholes. 🐜
Awkward roleplaying scenario? Hahah byeeeeeee~ 🐜
Falling damage? You know what's not heavy enough to take falling damage? 🐜

In short: 🐜

UPDATE: The lady who just gave birth and is still recovering from her c-section in the hospital literally just saved my Drard from falling in the lava and dying with a last second Dimension Door.

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Hot take but Wizards are always better than Sorcerers in videogames because games give out like ten thousand times more spell scrolls than DMs do.

So in my Drard's favored instrument is the ney, and last session got into a duet with the accordion player on the airship we staged a mutiny on and I was like, "I wonder if I can find some thematic background music" and:


On the subject of Inspiration in :

I had this idea for a variant Inspiration use which is basically the flashback mechanism in BLADES IN THE DARK. That is, you can spend your inspiration to "retroactively prepare" for a situation, so long as you can realistically explain how you did it and why it hasn't come up until now.

It's basically for those "memorized the wrong spell"/"brought the wrong gear"/"forgot to bribe the guard in advance" situations.

Yelling out "Tsuki ni kawatte, oshioki yo!" every time my Druid casts Moonbeam in will never get old and any players or GMs who tell you otherwise are big party police poopyheads.

Apparently I acquired a ward in last night?

Also a lawful-anarchist gnome that keeps trying to start wars.

Oh, and a familiar.

So, like. Big night.

DM: *tries sacrificing a party member to a weird cult ritual*
ME, A DRUID: I infiltrate the building as a spider, drop onto the floor in the middle of the ritual room, turn into a goat, and try and wreck up as much shit as possible.
DM: …
DM: …
DM: I’m… gonna need everyone to take a five minute break while I figure out how to react to that.

Incidentally, in if I have -2 STR and slap someone, does that do 1 - 2 damage, i.e. -1 damage, i.e. the slapee gains one hit point?

More importantly, can I argue this to a DM as a successful way of stabilizing a dying party member? 🤔

... who booked an appointment with the accountant that clashes with night? Who'd do that? Thursdays aren't for being an adult and talking about taxes and investments! They're for pretending to be a tiefling and singing at monsters!

So we finally managed to get a pick-up one-shot of at the nerdshop last night, and big shout-out to the DM who managed to keep his cool despite the fact I managed to destroy his campaign idea by being the only D&D player ever to remember the spell Mage Hand exists.

(It involved a lot of "navigate this trap room to retrieve a small gemstone you can see roughly 29 feet away" style puzzles which... oop.)

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