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Ahhhhh my hairdresser just texted me, apparently the county health department has shut down all beauty industry services until April 30 😬 my poor hair 😬😬😬

Good thing I got my bangs cut extra-short last time

Steve has a video of him opening an AMAZINGLY preserved set of WWII c-rations. It’s like a time capsule. Everything is still perfectly fresh and edible

The Quarantine Chorus is up!!

And I’ll sing hallelujah,
And you’ll sing hallelujah,
And we’ll all sing hallelujah,
When we arrive at home!

There are multiple 🐷 along my street, plus a 🐷 helicopter circling overhead. Wtf is going on

Excuse me. Social media scam who MAYBE FED HER HUSBAND TO TIGERS with big cats

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if scientists are so smart, why can't they explain how it's only wednesday

Choose your fighter:

- hippie polygamy cult with big cats

- gay meth rednecks with big cats

- social media scam with big cats

- actual drug kingpin with big cats

- libertarian caricature with big cats

continuing Tiger King and omg this just gets weirder and weirder

my favorite people in this doc are the scarface drug lord guy and the one-armed butch girl


Seeing a disappointing lack of “some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make” memes re: Republican covid responses

amanda boosted

hot take, shitpost 

Calvin & Hobbes > Most Academic works of leftist theory

Also, fuck cabbage worms. Why can’t you be beneficial like all the other lepidopterans? Get the fuck away from my kale

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The worst part about milkweed aphids is that they only infest the one plant I WANT insects to live on, so I can’t just wash them into hell on a wave of neem oil and diatomaceous earth without also killing all the monarch caterpillars

Watching Steve1989 instead of working, because they still have not issued WFH laptops, and if my company isn’t going to work efficiently, then neither am I

My parents gave me a 72-hour survival kit when I left home, because Mormonism, and it actually has some MREs in it, because military brat

Maybe I’ll open them if I get bored enough in the next few months. They’re almost definitely expired

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I bought an enormous jar of garlic ginger paste a while back when I was on an Indian food kick and promptly never opened it, so after taking it with me through so many adventures including moving house, I tried to open the jar and it fucking exploded in my hands

Fiona saw A Stranger outside and trampled all over the trays of seedlings I had in front of the window >__<

Luckily, there were only a couple of plants that were total losses, and I had multiple cups of each plant, so there’s really no harm done, but she’s in my bad books right now

People on the internet: No more rules! Now’s the time! Shave your head!!

Me, already struggling with a lack of hair-related impulse control: [SWEATING NERVOUSLY]

They’re starting to roll out the WFH laptops. Can’t wait for my job to pay me to spring-clean the house and maybe paint some walls with brief intermissions to do QA work

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