Pinned toot

eternally wip fic planning 

Playlist for Scheherazade (The Terrible P5 accomplice fic)

depression/relationships 

the thing that hurts in the worst way is that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust *myself* again. I have a history of reading people wrong when it comes to relationship/sexual matters... and I did it *again*. it’s part of why I’m so hesitant in a lot of things.

it’s just more proof that I can’t rely on my judgement. even when someone else makes the first move I’ll always be constantly second guessing myself.

I guess this is why people just stay monogamous.

depression 

i feel like i'm twelve all over again. when will i ever learn?

some things you have to learn the hard way, and i guess this is one of them. at least it answers my dilemma about how i'd manage things because it's never going to happen. ever. i can't be trusted. not even just in this case. just ever.

also wtf why am i putting that on twitter? what kind of asshole am i? deleted now because holy fuck.

wip - loki!akechi 

my current wip, doing the linework now

depression/appearance 

God I really am just that unattractive and sexually unappealing huh?

I wonder if the sushi place nearby is open - tried calling a carry out in a week ago with no answer, but they might have been busy or something.

Really want some of their nabeyaki udon.

Me: -feels very sad about things at 2am- :(
Me: -feels less sad about these things during the day when I have many distractions- obviously I'm faking my sadness

🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶 intra-left criticism 

The way I see it, “we don’t need to care about silly elections if communities just take care of each other” is exactly as likely to work IRL as “we don’t need no government intervention—the free market will take care of us”

I should probably update my pfp and header with the new version of that art. 🤔

I kind of need a change of scenery, so back to masto I guess. Too many people who can see on the mainstream soc med to actually be able to talk about things that are bothering me rn.

mental health 

Anxiety is REALLY bad lately. Completely unable to enjoy anything, especially without feeling like I SHOULD be enjoying things and therefore even trying to do something for fun just triggers a guilt spiral.

Deleted twitter and discord from my phone. Not like I’m gonna be using them.

Show thread

Taking a fandom break and resisting the urge to nuke my twitter to the ground. This is why I try not to get too involved in something, because the moment I get even a little bit over saturated, I want to pull out and burn every last bridge behind me.

Do you ever just realize how marvelous it is that you can adopt terrible little carnivores with their own little personalities who will seek out your company and preferentially snuggle up next to you and fall asleep in a donut shape

Honestly Internet Explorer has been so aggressively terrible for so many years it's hard to believe that they didn't do it on purpose.

It was really starting to slow down before, but now that I’ve rejoined a discord server I used to love it’s downright depressing how dead it is now. Kinda wondering if I should just leave again - is it me? I mean, in a way it really WAS me, because I crossed the streams when I shouldn’t have and it wound up making things awkward from what I’ve been told. But would it be busier if I just left again? Would that help?

idk

Websites that auto-play videos, then when I navigate away from those videos, keep them playing in an overlaid interstitial popup?

D O N ‘ T

What I wouldn’t give for the body image self confidence of an Intstagram Thot

M'aiq thinks the maddest thing about the Vaults of Madness is their location.

Yes, President Pence would be horrific, but let’s take comfort in knowing that he could never amass the kind of slobbering cult that Trump has

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