the thing that hurts in the worst way is that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust *myself* again. I have a history of reading people wrong when it comes to relationship/sexual matters... and I did it *again*. it’s part of why I’m so hesitant in a lot of things.
it’s just more proof that I can’t rely on my judgement. even when someone else makes the first move I’ll always be constantly second guessing myself.
I guess this is why people just stay monogamous.
i feel like i'm twelve all over again. when will i ever learn?
some things you have to learn the hard way, and i guess this is one of them. at least it answers my dilemma about how i'd manage things because it's never going to happen. ever. i can't be trusted. not even just in this case. just ever.
also wtf why am i putting that on twitter? what kind of asshole am i? deleted now because holy fuck.
Deleted twitter and discord from my phone. Not like I’m gonna be using them.
It was really starting to slow down before, but now that I’ve rejoined a discord server I used to love it’s downright depressing how dead it is now. Kinda wondering if I should just leave again - is it me? I mean, in a way it really WAS me, because I crossed the streams when I shouldn’t have and it wound up making things awkward from what I’ve been told. But would it be busier if I just left again? Would that help?