he literally told me he didn't want to live in this house anymore because of me. and i was like, "trust me, i don't want to be here with you. but at least you have the money to leave. i can't even answer the phone. i need to finally get the therapy you promised to get me but never did before i can get a job."
@its_demons_jim It doesn't matter that other people have it worse than you. There's always someone who will have it worse, but that doesn't mean it's not still bad for you.
What you're describing is abuse, friend. Your dad is an abuser. He can pretend that he ain't by offering up "nice" things that he's done, but it doesn't make up for the bullshit.
I'm extremely sorry that you're dealing with this. Is there anything I can do to help?
@ToonLink thank you so much. just taking the time to read what I wrote out helps me feel a little better.
@its_demons_jim Sometimes, when you're fed up, the best thing to do is get it out of your system. I understand that completely. I'm in a similar situation anxiety-wise. My family isn't well of, but I'm too socially anxious to get a job. I get how hard it is to try and explain your side of things, especially when the other side is unwilling to listen. For what it's worth, I'd say just surviving is an incredible feat all it's own.
@its_demons_jim You're welcome. I'm glad it helps, even if just a little. I wish I could offer something more substantial.
Just know that you aren't alone. And remember that it's not your job to fix your dad, and this isn't your fault. Focus on keeping yourself safe and try to find a way to get out, as soon as you can. I know that's easy to say and harder to do, but you aren't doomed to deal with him forever. There are resources that can help you, even if just a support group.
@ToonLink it's really been years of dealing with him and trying to figure something out for my mom, brother and me. and i'm still looking. i have hope. and it really feels a little better to get it out to other people. i'm going to try to get healthcare so i can try to get therapy or something to help with my anxiety so maybe i can get a part time job