#covid19 #alcohol 

Sunday in social distancing: my partner worked out some Lovecraftian* board game with the housemates, meanwhile I played a level of Ori and the Will o' the Wisps, and tested the ice cream maker with vanilla and bourbon while reading The Secret History

*It is Chthulhu themed, but also, the rules seem arcane and unfathomable

I'm really glad I've started Date Yourself Night, and in general that I've started walling off free time on the calendar. You gotta Domme your future self into doing the good shit, is my take home here. My present self's lazy ADHD-adjacent ass cannot be trusted to make good choices 😩

I have theatre tickets for Assassins (on Guy Fawkes night! A+!) but actually I am too tired and overwhelmed to enjoy it; I have a ton of exciting future schemes to put together but anything more than answering emails and sketching plans is going to be too much for me. Not the worst problem to have, though. There will be other nights, and I can watch fireworks from my window and plan the next stage of my life.

Reflection:
• have acquired boyfriend. Bit long-distance, bit of an emotionally fraught time for both of us, giving it a year minimum before significant entanglements but also have turned to feelingsmush. Serious good vibes. I think this one might be a keeper.

Paranoia: oh fuck I have to fix SO much of my life so he doesn't ever know the specific ways in which I am lacking

[Tap_forehead_meme.jpg]: gonna use this energy to fix my life, sweeeet 👌

food, adhd 

My ADHD-adjacent ass *can* cook but will spend two hours deciding what to cook and trying to start to cook, and then give up and impulse-buy massive amounts of delivery food while starving.

Using "just add water" vegan protein shakes and snack bars is a revelatory disability accommodation, is my point

Suspicion: leftie friends stan BreadTube bc it makes 101 arguments they already agree with, accessibly, stylishly, creating a feeling of community via parasocial relationships.

NOT criticism! They're very good at what they do, (whatever you think of their stances). But...it's not as personally educational as I was expecting, and I've learnt not to mistake media for relationships. Can't decide if I'm enjoying watching, or just appreciating.

(Congrats to Ollie T for everying about That Video)

queer online dating 

Hey qt people, especially women and enbies, if I say 'hey do you want to do [thing]' and you say 'I can't' and then you say NOTHING ELSE I will interpret that as a soft no

Please be more enthusiastic if you want to hang out! I have taken the initiative! Please reciprocate! Suggest doing something else! Even if it sucks!

Emptying the 'holidays/adventures/piano' slush fund to go see Queen with Adam Lambert in June because OH MY GOSH QUEEN I AM SO HAPPYYYY

Also NGL all these 'looking for travel companion', let's meet up, confirm we have enough interests and approaches in common to make that good, and just frickin' go, if we're adult enough to enjoy travel we can figure out if we're bosom buddies in another city in a hotel with twin beds or a hostel

I want ADVENTURE and I need to plan it soon, tick tock

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OkC is phasing out bookmarks, which is GOOD because I had over 350 'I'll message later's, I have now messaged enough of them that I have two new replies, and culled the list down to 130 as my standards have risen

Fassbender Macbeth has...INCREDIBLY weird direction

want your actors to stay stock-still and thousand-yard-stare during every soliloquy? to look constantly catatonically depressed? is the problem with the 'Damned Spot' soliloquy that we might think she's imagining washing her hands, rather than sitting still on the floor of a church? DO I HAVE A MACBETH FOR YOU

Ottolenghi recipes have a Rep for being difficult because western Europe favours fancy TECHNIQUE done to good-quality but relatively plain food! He favours like ten niche ingredients, almost all the rest is interesting spice mixes but incredibly simple techniques. Seasoning's just a different skill!

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I've devised a new and efficient way of getting scammers to hang up on me:

(in best Customer Service Phone Voice (tm)): "yes, of course, I'd love for you to show me the problem with my network connection, [name]. Before we start, I'll just have to take you through some security questions: would you be able to tell me my ten-digit customer account number?"

Sofar Sounds gig tonight has changed venue to a church and it's Church of England

This is the second time I've gone and the second time I've hung out with the guy I'm going with, he's straight and I hope he can roll with just how obnoxiously queer about same-sex marriage I'm going to be all night

if I ruin people's nights I hope I ruin people's nights

I sat through my first activism meeting (not counting a student council-ish thing aged 14) and did not bolt despite everyone being impossibly attractive and upbeat and smily

Slowly realising my pathological inability to join things is probably trauma and I should probably work on that 💔

...I've finally done it, got myself into such a queer media bubble that a blockbuster felt viscerally distasteful

I hate sad European dramas about infidelity though, what do I watch to turn my brain off now???

it's LGBT NIMBYism and I won't have it

gonna rub my gay little hands all over every story, and it's gonna be so good for straight men because once homophobia's destroyed they're going to be allowed to have feelings

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I'd forgotten they were going to do the cringey pandering "we got this"

I didn't know about "the MCU's first gay moment" and man, that felt MORE othering. Good news, you're allowed to exist and Captain America doesn't hate you! But Cap won't demonstrate for a moment he cares about his best friend, because we heard you're wondering if they're gay and Cap being gay himself???? WELL WE CAN'T HAVE THAT

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