US pol, homophobia, supreme court 

I'm aware saying "sexual preference" is a dog whistle, but we've reclaimed worse. What would it be like, if we didn't cling to "born this way" as a narrative?

"We're queer because it feels good and hurts no-one. Everything else is nobody's business."

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US pol, homophobia, supreme court 

what if I DO have a sexual "preference" though? Like if I don't desperately *have* to fuck women as well as men, I just prefer to, on account of a. it's fun, b. there's nothing immoral about it, and c. fuck you, that's why

what if there's no gene? no inexorable biological force making me queer? if I just...like fucking women, like I like cooking, or dancing, or The Mountain Goats? is that still OK or

abusive ex 

Welp, just found abusive ex with anger and consent issues is pregnant.

I feel weird, terrible, intensely suspicious a child conceived a month into lockdown was not born of the most thoughtfully planned circumstances (which is on brand). Mostly relieved I'm well out of there and didn't answer her primary's attempts at friendly re-overtures a month ago.

I foresaw this, years ago, and knew I had to emotionally detach before I was godmother. I feel sad today. But no longer responsible.

DARVO 

Finally:

If you are the whistleblower, and this happens to you, please note that you are not alone. It is a *common* tactic, laughably common.

There is not a lot you can do, but there are a few things.

There's another useful acronym here -- JADE. Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain.

The temptation is to think that you're dealing with a reasonable human being, and they'll listen to you and take what you say in good faith, but...they won't.

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I was thinking about "why aren't there any historical comedies" some more and not to get too conspiratorial, but there's definitely an agenda in what historical events we choose to make movies about. Like, history is full of people trading and coexisting and being interested in each other's lives and probably having a lot of very funny interactions, but the movies are about war, hatred, violence, prejudice, greed, reactionary Clash Of Civilizations™️ type stuff.

Trialling a phone time tracker to make me more aware of time passing by treating chores as a speedrun

Reading Low Tech Magazine's Solar Powered Website is very calming.

solar.lowtechmagazine.com/abou

I could (and have) read this for hours at a stretch. Every time I spend an hour or so reading this site, I come away filled with optimism and inspiration and a way of thinking that's altered for the better, which lasts for days.

Not many websites give me those feelings. In fact right now I'm noticing how many websites do the opposite.

@julia Here is your obligatory Trunk reminder, just because there's a tiny probability you might not know about it yet:
communitywiki.org/trunk
Great collection of people who want to be followed, sorted into categories. And folks, don't forget to add yourself to it, too!

@julia How to find / build content & communities of interest on Mastodon

Be the conversation you want to see on the #Fediverse.
Like attracts like. Build it and they ... may ... come.
#Hashtag your posts, and profile. This aids discovery. (Your post above with hashtags for each term would make a great pinned intro.)
Check your own hashtags for related content.

Hashtag streams can be pinned.
Make your hashtag posts public (not unlisted/followers only). (A Mastodon limitation is that unlisted hashtagged toots aren't listed in hashtag search. IMO an architecture bug.)
Boost discussions you'd like to see more of. Including replies to your own toots.
Engage on others' threads too.
The Fediverse remains fairly small. Interest in specialised areas is small. You may be able to generate a spark.
Follow judiciously. More follows == more distractions. Highly-interesting/alligned contacts are gold.
Lists are useful for prioritising large follower sets. I follow an A/B/C classification of best / good / medium interest.
Consider dropping / separately following highly-voluble posters.
Practice good mental hygiene. If a profile annoys/irritates, unfollow.

do whatever you can to stop social media from being your foundation distraction.. like it really needs to not be that.

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I'm rubbish at finding people to follow. Things I'd like on my TL: plants, rewilding, solarpunk, wild camping/swimming/climbing, urban greenery, urban adventures, DIY, crafting, carpentry, cooking, brewing, makerspaces, yoga, sewing, very basic programming (like, raspberry Pi? IDK), queer homemaking

...that you can do from an urban apartment

Back on mastodon, the e-vape to twitter's unfiltered dopamine. If I must doomscroll, let it be here, in the comparatively lo-fi low-drama sheltered tidepools of the internet.

#covid19 #alcohol 

Sunday in social distancing: my partner worked out some Lovecraftian* board game with the housemates, meanwhile I played a level of Ori and the Will o' the Wisps, and tested the ice cream maker with vanilla and bourbon while reading The Secret History

*It is Chthulhu themed, but also, the rules seem arcane and unfathomable

I'm really glad I've started Date Yourself Night, and in general that I've started walling off free time on the calendar. You gotta Domme your future self into doing the good shit, is my take home here. My present self's lazy ADHD-adjacent ass cannot be trusted to make good choices 😩

I have theatre tickets for Assassins (on Guy Fawkes night! A+!) but actually I am too tired and overwhelmed to enjoy it; I have a ton of exciting future schemes to put together but anything more than answering emails and sketching plans is going to be too much for me. Not the worst problem to have, though. There will be other nights, and I can watch fireworks from my window and plan the next stage of my life.

Reflection:
• have acquired boyfriend. Bit long-distance, bit of an emotionally fraught time for both of us, giving it a year minimum before significant entanglements but also have turned to feelingsmush. Serious good vibes. I think this one might be a keeper.

Paranoia: oh fuck I have to fix SO much of my life so he doesn't ever know the specific ways in which I am lacking

[Tap_forehead_meme.jpg]: gonna use this energy to fix my life, sweeeet 👌

food, adhd 

My ADHD-adjacent ass *can* cook but will spend two hours deciding what to cook and trying to start to cook, and then give up and impulse-buy massive amounts of delivery food while starving.

Using "just add water" vegan protein shakes and snack bars is a revelatory disability accommodation, is my point

Suspicion: leftie friends stan BreadTube bc it makes 101 arguments they already agree with, accessibly, stylishly, creating a feeling of community via parasocial relationships.

NOT criticism! They're very good at what they do, (whatever you think of their stances). But...it's not as personally educational as I was expecting, and I've learnt not to mistake media for relationships. Can't decide if I'm enjoying watching, or just appreciating.

(Congrats to Ollie T for everying about That Video)

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