Pinned toot

I realized my header looked like garbage on desktop, so I exchanged it for one that's at least ENTERTAINING garbage: the glorious 80s cover art for The Two Towers

(no joke I unironically love this cover art because it's the only one that speaks the truth: it's a romance novel about Legolas and Gimli)

covid 

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covid 

I am SO tired of all these sentimental “times are hard :))) we’re in this together :))) here for you :)))” TV commercials I’m seeing

Like seriously????

Brownie babka. Waiting for it to cool, and then we’ll see if I did actually create an acceptable enriched dough for once.

What’s this?? I might have made an enriched dough that doesn’t suck??? Someone get the USDA on the phone, I have a breakthrough to report

Ohhhh we tried out the “cloud coffee” that’s been popular on the internet and it’s everything I ever wanted in a coffee drink tbh

Me making mead/kombucha/kimchi/pickles/no-knead bread: THE MICROBES ARE MY MINIONS. FERMENT! TRANSFORM! RIIIIISE!

Me making anything with an enriched dough: what do these microscopic bastards have against me

First time trying to make a yeast dough in my stand mixer. Really cool how yeast hates me and resists everything I try to make with it

HIS COUNTRY SINGING VOICE DOESN’T EVEN SOUND LIKE HIS SPEAKING VOICE

The fact that Joe Exotic came in 3rd in the Libertarian gubernatorial primary

How crazy do you have to be to come in THIRD in a LIBERTARIAN PRIMARY

food, lewd, only partially a joke 

amanda boosted

a medical fetish shop in the UK donated its entire stock of disposable scrubs to a desperate NHS hospital which contacted them for help. so that's where the world is presently.

Every passing day that my work does not issue me a WFH laptop is a day I do less actual work

In the words of the embroidery I did for my wife, “your poor planning is not my emergency”

“The Onion but for specific professions/subcultures” is the best form of humor tbh

Was anyone going to tell me that an Ebola vaccine exists now, or was I just supposed to figure that out on a wikiwalk myself

I’m so sorry for all the things I said and thought about Britney Spears when I was a little ogre who Wasn’t Like Other Girls

Me, texting my dad a picture of a bump I found on my foot: what do you think this bump is

My dad, a doctor: gross

Fiona cannot understand why I would possibly be grumpy with her after she so bravely rescued the entire house from the German shepherd puppy that was walking down the sidewalk (with MURDEROUS INTENT)

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