My family are a notorious pack of sugar goblins (especially my dad’s side of the family but my mom does love her carbs) because they’re all Mormons and that’s their only vice

My dad has recently decided to “cut out sugar” and I’m like... listen, robot boy, you need to have SOMETHING to bring you joy in life besides working out and getting mad about Democrats. It might as well be sugar. Be a human

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Some of you think having leftist politics exempts you from basic human decency and it shows.

“FIREWORKS: ARE THEY BEING SET OFF BY THE POLICE SPECIFICALLY TO MAKE ME ANXIOUS?” — a conspiracy theory penned by my dog

Second-funniest part is the animatronic werewolf thing

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Funniest part of The Untamed so far is when the Wen Clan turns out to have a part of their territory that’s like, a normal vegetable garden and not an evil volcano fortress

intra-left criticism 

Seattle people criticize Durkan without doing the “all Bad Lesbians want to do is oppress Good Queers, eat hot chip and lie” thing challenge

today’s Great Depression Grandma Activity is using the stock I made from the bones of a supermarket rotisserie chicken to make a more delicious stock with the bones of another supermarket rotisserie chicken

Potter wasp nests! I’ve seen a couple of the wasps but not their nests, at least until yesterday. It’s like a perfect little Legend of Zelda pot. (FYI potter wasps are solitary, non-aggressive, and useful as garden pest control, since they fill their little pots with caterpillars for their babies to eat. They can sting, but don’t usually want to.)

pandemic life: mine is pretty good 

It didn’t come when I was an adult living at home after I graduated, which was The Worst. I complain about my parents all the time and they live in Florida—I can’t imagine being stuck in a house with them through this.

It didn’t come when I was single. My wife is my best friend and being stuck in the house with her is not a burden.

I am always thinking about the fact that there are people in each of the situations that would have made me crazy, and worse ones.

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pandemic life: mine is pretty good 

As much as the pandemic sucks for everyone, it really could not have come at a better life stage for me, and I think about that all the time.

It didn’t come when I was a waitress, fast food worker, or special ed para. Now I have a stable, decent-paying job and can work from home.

It didn’t come when I was living in my depressing basement apartment. I have my own home with a garden.

It didn’t come when I was depressed and anxious, undiagnosed, and unmedicated.

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@alpine_thistle Right-wing conspiracies enrage me because they are dumb and usually dangerously xenophobic. Left-wing conspiracies enrage me because they are dumb and also make me feel tainted by association. Get out of my side of the political spectrum, you are making us all look bad!

As expected, the hardest part of working from home is holding myself to a schedule. When I’m trapped in the office for 8 hours a day, it’s easier to get all my shit done within that timeframe, even with the distractions of my phone, youtube, Starbucks, etc.

At home it’s a different story. I’m having to completely rearrange my daily Habitica tasks, which I had gotten pretty good at doing because they’d been mostly the same for like 3 years, to fit my new situation

Me: wants the English-speaking US and public conversation in general to become less monolingual

Also me: too shy to order in Spanish at the confirmed-Spanish-speaking taco truck

Once I finish Spanish Duolingo (which I’m very close to doing) I’m going to tackle French because it’s been 4726368 years since college and my French is circling the drain

Conspiracy theories are one thing that I have almost zero patience for. Right-wing, left-wing, absolute apolitical nutcase, I don’t care what kind of conspiracy theory it is, I hate it and you are making the world a worse place by spreading it around

Ahhh it’s “can you please do all this work we didn’t tell you about when you organized your schedule at the beginning of the month kthxbai” time in the office

Guys, the fireworks are probably not a psyop, it’s summer and everyone’s just bored as fuck

Have you never had neighbors before? Like ever?

It was probably bigger than a quarter but idk what else to compare it to. An average-sized gumball?

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Dear Mastodon, today I saw a beetle the diameter of a US quarter

At first I thought it was a Japanese beetle, since they're at their peak right now and having gross beetle orgies all over my plants, but then I noticed that it was the size of a small car

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