annathecrow @annathecrow@fandom.ink

Anyone knows some anxiety techniques that are not breathing exercises? My brain is Extra (TM) and controlled breathing is an anxiety trigger. 🙃

Permanently high heartrate is Fun. 🙃😶 🕳️

(I reduced caffeine to 1 cup of black tea a day; next step is probably trying for more exercise and/or reducing sugar, but both of those mean a big mental overhead that I have no capacity for atm.)

I have seen sites where I had to kill a huge cookie overlay, then a newsletter sign-up modal, then a push notification consent dialog. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME NOW. This is how you train banner blindness, kids.

Which, since I'm ranting, another web "design" beef of mine: asking for push notification consent right on first site load. No, I do not want to get updates from you, Technology Reviews Blog #999 - I have zero relationship to you, I do not give a single fuck about you. I might, later, after I read a few articles.
Same applies to newsletter sign-ups, btw.

Signed, former webadmin who actually spent weeks researching this.

I want to punch someone anytime I remember that all the good points of GDPR (data use transparency, specific use consent, data portability, right to be forgotten) are overshadowed by the internet's collective decision to turn it into "the banners got bigger and more obnoxious".

@ all those websites that do not let me see their content unless I click agree on their enormous cookie banner: you DO know that isn't actually GDPR-compliant, right? The directive clearly states that users must not be barred from using a service when they refuse to be tracked. Unless it's cookies necessary for the basic function of the service, and then you are not required to have an agreement anyway!

I'm almost 30 but I still haven't learned how to take that stabbing feeling when I see someone from my teenage fan artist circles as a successful professional illustrator.

I am proud and happy for them, I really am, but it still hurts.

It's hard not to turn to believe there's something fundamentally wrong with me as a person - some self-destructive gene that makes me rot instead of growing.

It will happen on DW (as it did before on LJ, or did you all forget that?), and it sure as hell will happen on fediverse, precisely for the same reasons it happened on Tumblr.

All those fandom discussions about Tumblr are starting to make me grumpy, because I left Tumblr for very specific personal reasons and I just... can't stand the viewpoint that Tumblr was the Absolute Worst and now us pure souls are escaping its horrible clutches.

Yes, Tumblr has some features that make it more susceptible to asshole behavior and culture clashes. But this behavior and these clashes come from the PEOPLE, they will happen on any other platform fandom moves to.

(Context: I have been working on my issues with art lately, following approach of wrex-writes.tumblr.com)

The "creative pain as a sport injury" is such a useful metaphor. Today I picked up my watercolors again. It was like puncturing a pustule: I felt pretty alright lately, but I only set out my brushes and all the anger and self-hate just spilled out, gross, everywhere.

I will brew a tea, sit with it for a bit, and we'll see.

Sat down to do 5 minutes of very light, no-quality-required doodling.
Gave myself performation anxiety.

Living with a brain is WILD.

Me, brewing a strong sweet cup of Earl Grey: So good! Why don't I drink tea like this more?
Me, 5 minutes later, feeling the caffeine hit: Mistakes Have Been Made

@mooncube I love the new handle!

I have a problem. Wait, no, I have two.

1. I need to write things down because my working memory is shit.

2. I can't delete anything because my anxiety brain just... doesn't cope with losing things forever, even if said thing is a textfile of me trying to prioritize some subtask interspersed by capslocked whining.

Thank fuck textfiles are tiny.

I finally cracked open my copy of "The Medium is a Massage" by Marshall McLuhan and Quentin Fiore. Then I had to google that yes, it IS the book I thought it was.
(Which is to say, not a normal social commentary non-fiction, but... Well: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Medium_Is_the_Massage)

I studied new media journalism, AND graphic design. I feel like I should go hand in my diplomas now. 🤦

Peak React Native Experience (TM): the tap events on my map don't work when the remote debugger is connected. Like... HOW.

I just stumbled over Bright (2017) and the synopsis sounds delightful. Rotten Tomatoes gives it Critics: 25%/Viewers: 84% score, so the chances of silly genre fun look high. Fediverse, have you seen this movie? Is it good-bad, or bad-bad? #bright #movies

In my doc folder I have a file that's called "2018-12-10_magic_react_native_dance.txt". It contains the six steps I need to run the project on an emulated Android device. The last line of it is:
********HOLY HANDGRENADE SOUND********"
#justreactnativethings

(I should have scripted this by now, but there are at least 3 processes that need their own shell window and it would be A Bother.)

(Also, lol at the Worms reference that nobody will get.)