thene @thene@fandom.ink

the very weirdest thing about being in Matrix fandom is repeatedly running across people in both new age twitter and tech twitter who literally believe your fandom's canon is real. meanwhile, you and your friends who know 100x more about canon than they do, to a degree that is barely even reasonable, are doing the epistemically sensible thing: writing body horror porn

I am bad at reading people but I'm good at reading texts.

I wound up deciding to participate in this fic challenge out of FOMO but my fic sucks and I'm tired of it. It was a silly idea with no feeling behind it. I'm almost finished though, just one small gap in the middle that unfortunately has action in it.

Oh here comes my periodic reminder why I have two ao3 accounts (I will not be explaining this further)

@weirdeyes Yay! My wordcounts are all over the shop. I sometimes get pretty dense on the line level and write at snail's pace. 600 feels like a good day for me anyhow.

I told Z this a couple of weeks ago but haven't mentioned it to anyone else: her old familiar spirit (R) has been in my house recently. But it just occurred to me, I'm going to meet them where I am; last time I was in this kind of shattering-rebuilding mental space was the autumn of 2017 and I was certain like the red line, which I rode every Friday evening, was haunted. I suspect the pandemic has brought the poltergeists inside.

unrelated but it is Very not surprising (but ironic) that Matrix fandom has the realest kidfics. There's a bunch of women and queer people who hang here partly to talk real about raising their kids. Mostly I just watch but they do know that I spent my teens looking after my brother. They know quite a few things about my life that it often takes me years to tell people, if at all.

i see how it is, i write ONE fic about sex cake and now i'm always the Sex Cake Person

Even better, they submitted the fill as an entry for this month's fic challenge because it perfectly fits the criteria. this challenge is run by the most tame, vanilla OOC fluff writer in the fandom. She has pretended to be OK with me lowering the tone the last two times but this time she has resorted to the blurry "tripping" emoji. *steeples fingers*

(I knew it was happening, we'd been DMing about it since before I set up the kink meme - they'd hinted in that general direction in a conversation in the discord GC in April so I pinged them and was like, "look I am so squicked by this idea but can't get rid of it and this is why we need a kink meme" now i get EIGHT THOUSAND WORDS of quality stuff I am having to read with a hand half over my eyes)

It happened. Someone has filled my worst kink meme prompt

(I no longer truck with fae and I try to avoid adults that do but I am not sure how I would have even ended up here without the bitter one, surviving somehow and capable of confronting the limits of my ignorance - more than any other root, she gave me this shape. and here we are.)

I remember the first time we talked about this - probably 2004. We must have been talking about something pagan-related and I mentioned Tolmir - an oldcountry fae who I used to be with, esp in my tweens, and for some reason (perhaps because I also called her 'the bitter one') Jo asked if she was connected to the Morrigan. I now know she was probably right. But I could not have told you that before January.

a couple of days ago the whole thing clicked and I made an offering to the Morrigan. I know very little about the Morrigan but I've made offerings and prayers to her before because she is the patron of a friend who died a few years ago; but it's a long while since I last acted on this. but, GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES *gestures*

definitely a Baby's First Het Fandom problem

vaginas are just so much more culturally interesting than dicks, there are so many themes trying to fight their way into this fic that it doesn't feel anywhere near long enough to hold them.